The Things I Carry
For the last 15 years, I’ve been carrying many things. From literally to figuratively and from heavy to light, but when the day comes to an end, this is called my life. Since Kindergarten to present-day, I’ve been carrying my backpack for my education and the dedication to learn. I carry my phone to contact the ones I care for and to reach them for help or guidance. I carry my glasses to see what obstacles I have to face and to see the direction I want my future to go in. I carry my wallet to identify who I am. I carry my necklace to always acknowledge my grandma, and I will be reminded that she will always be around even when she’s gone. Not only I am physically carrying belongings, I also carry emotional baggage. After all the bits and pieces my parents have done for me, I carry the stress of not wanting to disappoint them. I carry the stress of knowing I might not be able to live up to their expectations. I carry the worry that my parents could die tomorrow, and knowing I couldn’t do anything to help. I carry the shame every time I do something wrong, then seeing my parents disappointed. I carry the pressure whenever I play basketball. I carry the pressure of not wanting to be the reason why my team lost because of me. Plus, not wanting my brothers think that I can’t do anything on the court. I carry the constant concern for my brothers. I always wonder if they’re going to get in trouble by the law or be in a situation that would risk their life. I carry the weight of an individual by being judged by society and the pressure of what society wants me to become. I carry the fear of death, as well as spiders or any other insects. Most importantly, I carry the happiness of knowing my parents are not victims of the 45.8 % of couples divorced in America. I carry the appreciation of knowing my family is one of the fortunate families that are “better off”. I carry the gratefulness that I have a family and friends when I need to reach for comfort. I carry the gratitude that my parents work so hard just to have a stable home for my brothers and myself. I carry the gratitude of having food on the table for every meal of the day. I carry uncountable amounts of thank you to my parents, from the day I was born. For all the toys, gifts, support, and even the cars they bought for my brothers and me to drive. I carry around my jokes to share with others, while feeling glad that I made someone laugh or smile. All the possessions I carry from visual to nonvisual items, describes who I am and what I’ve become.
